my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
