i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
