walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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