5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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