Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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