Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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