So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
