I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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