I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just pynch a tree in the face
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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