party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
