My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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