I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
