guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Panties = found
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