He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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