I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
