my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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