your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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