U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
