He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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