So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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