We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
