the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
love makes seman taste better
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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