You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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