i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
