honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
