So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I didn't shave. On purpose
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
