Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
