oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
