i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
