There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
