oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
