i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize