i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
