Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
