as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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