Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I am morally bankrupt
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize