i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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