i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
