Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well I just put wine in my tea
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize