I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
