i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
