Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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