ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she looked like the before picture.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
