It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
