One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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