Kiss
Puke
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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