Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
