He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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