Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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