D3 body, D1 cock
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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