Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize