i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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