dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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