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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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