Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
