Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm always down for nudity.
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