i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
