:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
