Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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