We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
