My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
